I didn't want kids

           Before you, I didn't see myself as a mother.  

       Before you, I didn't think of myself as incomplete. 

I thought that I could live my life without children and be complete. I probably would have been perfectly content, but I had no idea what I was missing. Truth is- there was no life before you.

 

Life began while you were growing inside me. I knew my life would change, from the first kicks and the times where I could see your hiccups.  Giving birth was the most pain I have ever been in, but every ounce of it was worth it.  I get to see you grow, hear you speak and see you become your own little people.  Nothing has made my heart swell more than hearing you tell me you love me.

You make me melt with just one look.  When you accomplish anything, I feel like something I am doing is working.  Now that I have you, I am a part of something bigger than myself.  Seeing how independent you are lets me know I am teaching you how to be real people.  Not holding your hand through everything lets me know that you will be able to take care of yourself.  I will be there for you no matter when or where, but I know you will be strong.

Not to say that someone else's life would be incomplete if they did not have a child, but i think that I was meant to be a mom.  Austin, at your first birthday party, while I was also pregant with Megan, I danced with you.  That was one of the best dances I have ever had(the other was with my dad at my wedding).  My mom told me that I had never looked happier.  It was not about who was at the party, where the party was, definitely not who I was married to, but about how much I loved that little boy I was dancing with.  You made me a better person. Then, Megan, you were born.  I instantly loved you as much as your brother.  You made me that much better.

Being a mother made me a better person.  Everything I do is for you.  I want to be a better me so I can be the best mother I can be for you.